Brutal clarity time.
The Vibe Audit is a conversion weapon.

Brutal clarity time.

The Vibe Audit is a conversion weapon dressed as a “vibe check.” Here’s the product, the process, the scripts, and the files you can ship today.

What the hell is it?

A 7‑day, no‑fluff diagnostic + implementation sprint that fixes the three places money leaks: perception, friction, proof. You score them (0–20), hand over a prioritized Top‑5 Fixes, and implement the quick wins. Then you show a chart. If there’s <5% upside, you stop and they keep the report.

Targets: local shops/clinics/salons/cafés and small e‑com brands.

Promise: “We’ll improve how customers feel, flow, and decide—and we’ll prove it in 14 days.”

The Offer (clean packaging)

• Mini — $250: 60‑min live audit + score + report (no implementation).
• Core — $1,500: Mini + implement top 3 fixes in 7 days + before/after proof.
• Pro — $4,500: Core + 30‑day support, analytics, staff training, 2 iterations.

Payment: 50% up front. Guarantee: If upside <5%, you cancel implementation and they keep the report.

The Method (step-by-step)

Day 0 – Prep (30 minutes)

• Send baseline request: visits/sessions, CR (or booked calls), AOV, weekly revenue, recent promos.
• Ask for GA4 view/access or a simple sales log + photos/video walkthrough.
• Open the Scorecard and Measurement Plan (files below).

Day 1 – Live Audit (60 minutes, Zoom or on‑site)

• Run the vibe_scorecard.html (10 categories, each 0/1/2).
• Capture 5 screenshots/photos: hero + CTA, social proof, checkout/booking, entrance/signage, menu/offer.
• Draft 5 fixes and tag each with Impact (1–5), Evidence (Y/N), Effort (1–5).

Day 2 – Report (deliver in 24h)

• Use the Report Template. Include: scores, ranked Top‑5 with owners + ETAs, mockups, baseline vs. target, and tracking plan (UTM/QR/offer code/call tracking).

Days 2–7 – Implement

• Prioritize by PIE (Potential × Evidence − Effort).
• Ship the top three fixes. Keep a visible change log (before/after).
• Light tracking live: sticky CTA clicks, review QR usage, offer-code redemptions.

Day 14 – Proof + Check‑in

• Send a one‑chart comparison vs. baseline. Capture a one‑liner testimonial. Ask for a referral.

Kill criteria: Client delays/blockers, or you don’t see a path to +$500/wk by day 30 → stop implementation.

The Scorecard (0–20)

Ten categories. Plain English. 0 hurts, 1 meh, 2 great.

1. First Impression (5-sec test) – Can a stranger tell what it is and what to do?
2. Sensory & Aesthetics – Lighting, color, sound/scent. Cohesive or chaos?
3. Navigation & Flow – Obvious path? No dead-ends?
4. Offer Clarity & Framing – One primary offer. Price framed.
5. Social Proof & Cred – Recent reviews/UGC. Proof near the ask.
6. Speed & Responsiveness – Load times or staff response don’t suck.
7. Trust & Safety – Cleanliness, policies, secure checkout.
8. Emotional Energy & Tone – Warm, confident, distinct.
9. Accessibility & Friction – Mobile/ADA basics, easy pay/parking, readable type.
10. Conversion Mechanics – Sticky obvious CTA, low-friction checkout/booking.

You’ve got the interactive HTML scorecard and a CSV/MD version ready to use.

The 10 Quick Fixes (48‑hour play)

1. Replace hero with value + single CTA (no sliders).
2. Add proof bar (stars + count + logos) above the fold.
3. Compress images + lazy‑load (shoot for <2.5s on mobile).
4. Sticky primary CTA on mobile.
5. Menu/offer anchoring: add a decoy, highlight the star, bundle a bestseller.
6. Lighting/sound sanity pass (kill flicker/hum; warm the entrance).
7. Peak‑end scripting for staff: warm open → memorable peak → confident exit line.
8. Review QR at checkout + post‑purchase SMS 1 hour later.
9. Clean the literal front door + fix signage legibility.
10. Default to SMS confirmations for bookings.

Scripts you'll actually use

Cold DM (58 words)

Running a quick “Vibe Audit” for 5 local shops: 30‑min walkthrough → score out of 20 → 10 fixes that lift conversion next week. Costs $0 for the pilot; if you want me to fix things, we talk price after. Want the audit? I’ve got Wed/Thu open. –[Your Name], local, fast, discreet.

Follow-up (48h)

Bumping this—two of five spots gone. If you want a blunt read and a short list of fixes that pay for themselves this month, I’ll hold a slot for 24h.

Proposal (Core)

60‑min live audit → report in 24h → I implement top 3 fixes in 7 days. $1,500 flat, 50% to start; if upside <5%, I stop and you keep the report.

Measurement & ROI

Baseline before changes: sessions, CR/booked calls, AOV, weekly revenue, review rate, call volume.

Back‑of‑envelope:

• Extra rev/week = (visits × ΔCR × AOV) + (orders × ΔAOV)
• Payback (weeks) = cost / extra rev

You’ve got an interactive ROI calculator to do the math for clients live.

Deliverables (what the client gets)

• Vibe Score (0–20) visualization + category notes
• Top‑5 Fixes with owners, ETAs, and mockups
• 7‑day plan + change log
• Proof pack: before/after screenshots/photos, single chart
• One‑liner testimonial drafted for easy yes

Ops: your internal muscle

• Fulfillment SOP for repeatability.
• On‑site/Zoom Audit Checklist so the session doesn’t meander.
• Airtable schema / Notion layout to track Leads → Audits → Fixes → Proof.
• SOW (contract) with scope, fees, payments, IP, liability.
• Case Study template to turn wins into demand.

Files (done and ready)

Complete Starter Kit (zip) — everything below in one file.

Download the Vibe Audit Starter Kit

Open these directly if you want:

• Interactive Scorecard: vibe_scorecard.html
• Interactive ROI Calculator: vibe_roi_calculator.html
• Scorecard (Markdown): Scorecard.md
• Scorecard (CSV): Scorecard.csv
• Quick Fixes: Quick_Fixes_Checklist.md
• Fulfillment SOP: Fulfillment_SOP.md
• Report Template: Report_Template.md
• Sample Report (Cafe Prima): Sample_Report_Cafe_Prima.md
• Landing Page Copy: Landing_Page_Copy.md
• Outreach Scripts: Outreach_Scripts.txt
• Email Sequences: Email_Sequences.md
• Measurement Plan: Measurement_Plan.md
• Pricing: Pricing_Tiers.md
• SOW/Contract: Contract_SOW.md
• Airtable Schema (CSV): Airtable_Schema.csv
• Notion Layout: Notion_Template.md
• Audit Checklist: Checklist_Onsite_Audit.md
• Brand Voice: Brand_Voice_Guidelines.md
• Tooling: Tooling_Suggestions.md
• README: README.md

Vertical tweaks (use these riffs)

• Café/Restaurant: menu engineering (decoy anchor, star highlight), order‑ahead button everywhere, review QR on receipts, warm lighting at entrance, “See you tomorrow” close.
• Salon/Clinic: booking friction (pre‑selected duration, SMS confirmations), before/after gallery above the fold, practitioner credibility near CTA, “nervous first‑timer?” microcopy.
• E‑commerce: proof bar + low‑friction checkout, PDP hierarchy (benefit → proof → options → ask), free returns microcopy, post‑purchase review flow with photo bounty.

Your 90‑minute launch (today)

1. Publish the landing page (copy provided).
2. Send 20 DMs (script above).
3. Run 2 audits (use the interactive scorecard).
4. Ship 2 reports inside 24h and offer implementation at $1,500 flat.
5. Track with the ROI calculator and screenshot results.

No hand‑wringing. You’ve got templates, scripts, and calculators. Open the kit, run the play, and get paid.